The night of the 5th was rather rough as I remembered it being the last night that I got to put Ellie to bed and do our nightly routine. Getting up to nurse Olivia that night was rather hard and I cried very time but held her ever so tightly. I talked to her about her sister thinking that would help my emotions, but it only made it worse because I wanted both of my girl here together rather than just telling Olivia about her big sister. I made it through the rest of the night with little sleep because all I could do is remember the 6th. I wanted so bad to go to bed that night and wake up and it just be the 7th... But obviously that doesn't happen.
The day of the 6th, the morning, was even harder. I found myself staring at the clock and remembering all the times the things occurred that awful day a year ago. I found a huge relief/overcame a hurdle that morning after the time of her passing. That was the hardest time for me. I didn't want to come up to that time and have to remember why I hated it so much but I did and I made it.
We spent the rest of the day as a family and went to visit miss Ellie and decorate for her for Christmas. My family stayed the night with us that night and brought us pizza and movies! It was a nice way to end the day and I am glad we had family to surround us with love knowing that day was hard on all of us.
The biggest thing was... WE MADE IT! I can't believe it has been a year since we have held our precious little girl. That hurts more than anything. I miss her more and more with each passing day. I will never stop loving, missing or remembering her.
Mommy loves and misses you so much, Ellie Olivia ❤️
The last picture I took of my pretty girl ❤️
The last picture I took of my pretty girl ❤️
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