Missing you....

Hi pumpkin-

The weather is so beautiful here today.....it makes me miss you even more because I really looked forward to the days where we could take you outside and play with your toys, take you walks, and hang out with your doggies in the backyard.  We just had so many plans for you and it breaks my heart even more when we come to the times that I looked forward to the most.  We had taken you on a few walks last fall and you just loved them.  I just know you would have even loved them even more now.

Your first walk <3  See how much fun you were having? :)

I made it through my first baby shower, without you here, on Sunday.  I did pretty well.  I think it was a little easier on me because this shower was for a boy and there were only 3 little kids there, but they were cousins that I am always around.  The one thing that just tore my heart to pieces is when the family got a motion detector monitor.  I am glad that families get those, but it reminded me that my princess isn't here with me and that this monitor is something to help ease the worry of what I had to go through with my precious princess.   I just hate that this has happened to our family.....or any family that has to go through this.  It is truly the WORST thing to EVER have to go through in our lives.  We will live forever changed for the rest of our lives here on this Earth.  Nothing is the same....nothing will ever be the same.  How could it be?  My baby is in Heaven.  That is one thing that gives me peace out of this whole situation....knowing that my baby is in Heaven being taken care of so well by the wonderful God himself.  I KNOW that he will reunite us with our baby again one day. 

Ellie, please watch over your little best friend (Izzy) tomorrow as she is having a couple different surgeries tomorrow.  Please be with her and the doctors and allow the surgery to go well, then send her home to mommy and daddy so she can have a healthy recovery.  Mommy is worried....

Your best friend was always by your side watching your every move...How precious <3

I love you so much, baby girl.  Miss you.....

"Now I lay me down to sleep.   I pray the Lord my soul to keep.  Guide me safely through the night and wake me with the morning light.  Amen"

Wow! What a week.....

Hi princess-

Mommy and Daddy have had quite a week!  Last week, we were informed that someone had stolen your identity and claimed you on their taxes so our taxes were rejected.  I am just so incredibly sad and mad that someone could ever do that to my precious little baby.  It's disgusting.  But don't worry baby girl, Mommy and Daddy will not let that stand.  We are currently battling the state to "prove" that you are our baby and make sure that those people who did this to you know that that is WRONG! It will be a long process, but we will do anything for our baby. <3

We did have a really good day on Sunday....It was Mommy's birthday (which I was dreading not having my princess here to celebrate with me) but Mommy and Daddy made it a good day, we were both baptized at church that morning! It was the most rewarding and refreshing experience that I have ever had.  I am so glad that we have faith and that God is giving us the strength to continue through each day without you here.  Everyday is a struggling battle, but knowing that we have faith....it can get us through anything.  We are definitely realizing that we cannot do anything without faith in God. <3

Mommy took your little best friend, Izzy(our doggie), to the vet on Thursday and we found out that she has tumors in her mammary glands.  :(  The vet is very positive about the surgery that will be on May 1 and we have been praying that everything goes well and she can be healthy.  I know you will be watching over her <3

On Friday, Daddy came running up the stairs (before 5 in the morning!) and told me that our basement was flooded!! We had 18 inches of water in our basement when there was nothing the night before!  We both stayed home from work and dealt with the clean up, insurance and cleaners.  It was quite the day, but in light of the whole day, Mommy had bought you a box of colored starfish for this summer and the box emptied in the basement and there were starfish all over the basement floor!  It just made me smile and made me think you were there to give us some light and peace out of the situation.  You are such a special little girl.

I always know that visiting you or watching your videos will always give me some kind of peace and make me smile.  I had a lot of those this week, you make any situation better. <3

I love you so much baby girl.  I hope you are getting all of our love and kisses that we send you to Heaven everyday!  Miss you princess....

Happy little girl who was learning to giggle.  Nothing is more precious and heart-touching than your giggle....I miss it so much <3

Happy 8 month birthday....

Hi baby girl-

Happy 8 month birthday! I can't believe you are 8 months already. You are my precious baby girl and you are just getting so big. I wish I could see you grow.... I just miss you more than anything in this world! It's just hard to believe that you have ha more days in heaven than you had here on earth with mommy and daddy. But we think positively and think of the day when we will get to spend eternity with you! We just wish we could have had more time with you.

Losing a child is the worst pain imaginable. It's not even a pain I can describe because it is so awful. I hate that we have to go through this, but seeing so many other mommies and daddies going through this too breaks my heart. It's just awful. No one should have to experience this.

We have had so much going on in our lives these past few weeks and I feel bad that I have not written anything.... Hopefully I will have more time within the next few days to write more. I have so much to write about ( you already know since mommy tells you about it :) )

I love you more than anything, princess.

"Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray The Lord my soul to keep. Guide me safely through the night and wake me with the morning light. Amen."

Sleep tight princess <3

4 months....

4 months ago you went home to be with God in Heaven.... It was mommy and daddy's worst day of our lives but knowing you are with God gives us so much comfort and peace knowing how well you are being taken care of. It's even better than what mommy and daddy were doing (even though that just seems impossible because we loved caring for you and gave you everything!)

Instead of spending this day being horribly upset because it was the 6th... We spent the day doing something fun with you. Mommy and daddy had a picnic back at your spot and flew an owl kite that Grammy bought you for Easter. We were having fun just spending time with you and we both just knew you were smiling watching that kite! We were calling it the "crazy kite!" It would fly low, then high, then back down, it spun in circles and when daddy was flying it, it almost came down and hit mommy in the head! It was silly! :) we both thought you were probably chasing the kite around and saying "I'm gonna get you!" We knew you were just loving it! I loved that the owl had little wings that fluttered as it flew through the air... It made me think of your pretty little wings ❤

We love and miss you more than anything, princess. I hope you had a wonderful time with us today and in Heaven too (but what day isn't :) )

We will see you in the morning baby girl.

"Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray The Lord my soul to keep. Guide me safely through the night and wake me with the morning light. Amen"

Sleep tight princess
Xoxoxo

Your First Easter.....

Hi baby girl,

How are you?  How was your first Easter?  Mommy and Daddy missed you very much!!! We wish we could have dressed you up in your pretty little dress and took you to church to learn all about what Jesus did for us.  But instead, you got to spend your first Easter with the wonderful man himself.  I bet it was the biggest celebration ever!  Did all the angels, or Jesus, tell you the story of Easter?

Mommy and Daddy tried to stay as busy as we could all weekend so we wouldn't be sitting around being horribly upset that we didn't get to spend another holiday with you.  These holidays are the hardest and we have had to go through several of your firsts without you here.  It just gets harder.  

You are just SO LOVED! Many of your family members brought you Easter gifts and sent you cards.  Nothing makes this momma smile more than someone remembering you.  That is just so important to mommy.  I fear that as time goes on, people will stop doing that.  Mommy and Daddy will ALWAYS remember you for the rest of our lives, you are our most precious gift and I thank God everyday for you.  I guess I shouldn't worry....you are so precious!! How could ANYONE ever forget you?  You have made an impact on so many people's lives and who would ever forget that gorgeous smile (with your tongue out ) and your crazy hair?!?  :)

Here are just some of the gifts that you received for Easter.  It is not about the gifts, but it's nice to give you our love even when you aren't with us here on this Earth. <3

Your new cross light from Aunt Teri, Uncle Jim, Jimmy and Delaney :)

Your cousins, Jimmy and Delaney, planted "Ellie flowers." (forget-me-nots)  They decorated their flower pots and planted their flowers!  I can't wait for them to bloom!  They will be as beautiful as you :)

Jimmy and Delaney's flower pots :)

I love you princess.....more than anything!  I wish I could give you kisses good-night, but I will blow them up to you so you can get them :)

I can't wait to visit in this nicer weather tomorrow!  I will bring your big story book :)

"Now I lay me down to sleep.  I pray the Lord my soul to keep.  Guide me safely through the night and wake me with the morning light.  Amen."

Just you hanging out with your cousins!  You just loved kids!  You would just stare at everything that they would do! I know you are making so many friends up in Heaven :)